Sanity - one step at a time

I just read a post from "A Holy Experience," a site I enjoy but which I am unable to keep up with on any routine basis . . . Ann Voskamp is a prolific writer, which is not a bad thing, but I find it can be overwhelming to be quite honest.  The post was on keeping our sanity in the New Year and was written posted January 24, 2013.  If you want to read the whole thing, it's entitled 25 Point Manifesto for Sanity in 2013.  My reactions were generally good, but I thought that doing all 25 each day would kill me - not a good way to find sanity.  But her ideas are, as usual, excellent, and would indeed help keep perspective, and sanity.  Here are several I was particularly struck by (only shared in brief here - you'll have to click on the link to read the details).

2. “What a heart knows by heart is what a heart knows”
5. Step on the Snake Before Breakfast
6. Stay in the pool
8. Go Slow. Life Zone. 
10. No songs without rhythm
16. Work on your Wall before Noon
18. Consistently be Consistent
20. Do the Holy, Happiness Habit

The ones that struck me most were #s2, 6, and 16, probably because of where I'm at right at this moment in particular. Next month, I would probably find other ones standing out.  And my "strategy" for sanity probably starts with one not even on this list:  7. Clean a space = clear headspace.  I get to a point where I can't even think if there's too much stuff piled up (our threshold is actually far too high for sanity, so when I get to this point, it's REALLY bad...).  I was there last weekend and it's better, but still there and bothering me.  I need to step on that snake and work on that wall, seriously, and then my head will be doing SO much better.  

Anyway, the point of all this musing and sharing is that there are things here that could or do help me keep my head above water, and maybe you'll find some of them encouraging or helpful.  While I find her posts - like this one - overwhelming, when I take that step back to consider what she's saying (as I try to stop reeling), I know she's not giving me, or anyone, a to do list, or condeming me for not following her advice.  She's simply sharing her journey and what's helped her.  She's not trying to tell me what to do.  And even if she was, I don't need to.  Part of maturity is hearing the message a person is trying to share, and another part is knowing what to do with it, regardless of their intention.  What I like most about Ann's posts in general, is her understanding of God's grace and that while we do live our faith in ways that result in good works, it's not fundamentally about acheivement, but about life and trust and grace and a God who's so much greater than we can imagine.  Ann is not trying to lay a guilt trip on me.  Yay.  So don't let me hear that message.  And frankly, I know that trying to do too much - make too many changes at once, etc - generally leads to failure, at least for me.  So what I can take away from her post this time is that she has some great ideas to share for how to maintain sanity in the new year.  They're all pretty good.  Now if I want to think about several of them in particular and mull over them, that would probably help me as I think through my own time and what is realistic.  And if I actually want to implement one or two, now that is doable, and could truly help me maintain some sanity.  And knowing that's all ok - that is that I don't have to do them all - is part of learning about my journey as a mom, as a wife, and as a believer.  And, as my husband would say,  it's not right and wrong, and it is truly all about grace.  

The Great Fixer

I loved this article by a woman I have yet to meet and who I hope someday to meet in person (tho' that may be as unlikely as me someday taking all my kids to Europe - still, I can say I'd like and hope to!).

It's an article about fixing things, entitled Fix You.  Do read it in its entirety! Here's how it concludes and then where I think it necessarily leads us.

Parenting is a relationship, and it occurs to me that all relationships — at least the real, meaningful ones — ARE essentially about having the same conversation over and over again. And that conversation boils down to the soul-cry: Why can’t you love me the way I want to be loved? We’re all waiting on the Fix-It Pile with our broken hearts, and sometimes a parent or friend or spouse will paste us together for a time. Sometimes we gather the tools and strength to repair our own cracks. But in my experience there’s never a permanent fix — not in this life, at least. We keep breaking, and having the same conversations over and over again. I’m unaware of a single person who’s made it to the end of their life, and who couldn’t have used another dab of glue or piece of tape.

I don’t mean this to sound completely hopeless, because I think it’s the opposite. I think it’s liberating. There are fairy figurines in this house whose wings I will NEVER permanently affix to their bodies; there are cracks in my children that I can NEVER mend. But in parenting, as with the rest of life, I think we get points for trying. And trying again.

I don't think we get points - God is not interested in our works in that way.  We don't earn anything.  But I do agree this account of our brokenness is not hopeless, but full of hope.  We have a God who has promised to care for us, and to rescue us.  We are all broken and we do all need fixing.  And our very maker can and will do it.  In fact, he has already done it.  In providing Jesus as our savior, he has given us the way back to him, to restore our broken relationship first w/him and then w/others.  This is the message of the Bible, from start to finish.  We're broken, and he can and will fix it, if we in faith trust in him!  A fix for sin, grace for the weary, peace for the broken-hearted, and hope that does not disappoint.

Parenting

I know that being a parent is a lot of work.  I am no "expert," unless 14+ years of experience automatically makes one expert.  I have learned a lot from watching, doing, asking, reading, experimenting, praying, and failing plenty.  I love being a parent, and I'm in for the long haul, whether I like it or not, whether I want it or not, and I know, I KNOW, that it doesn't end even when they leave home.  It's a constantly evolving process.  It's rewarding, exhausting, stretching, and painful, all at the same time (and more I'm sure).  But I am thankful for the process it is working in ME.  Parenting is a tool God is using to work in MY life.  It's refining.  I sometimes wish I could take a vacation from it, but I doubt I'd enjoy it, seeing as I like my kids (yes, like, not just love), and I'd frankly miss them within minutes of starting on such a vacation.  And I'd want to check on them and know how they're doing, hear about their day, help with their "problems" or simply hear them chatter about whatever is on their mind.  And this is grace, that as much angst as it all may bring with it, as hard as it may be, it is worth it, and I love being a parent. 

And btw, click on the link here (Parenting: It's never an interruption) for a great perspective - very good to keep in mind, especially when the slogging is particularly wearisome.  I needed to read it today.