Love is Patient

I have read a certain blog a few times hosted by Marcia Somerville entitled Tapestry of Grace. Everything I've read that she has written has blessed and encouraged me so far. (Disclaimer however - I haven't read THAT much of what she's written. I say that "just in case"....)

Somehow I ended up over there this morning and read a good part of her latest entry, Love Is Patient. It was particularly striking in light of what I posted yesterday and I think simply sharing the link here and recommending it highly is the best thing I could possibly post today!

Let me whet your appetite with this small excerpt copied below, and then off you go. Happy reading!

We all know people whose patience is on full display. We marvel at them, but inwardly, we can think: wow, I am just not that kind of person. I could never be patient like s/he is! But, here’s a piece of good (and convicting) news: if we have the Spirit of God within us, we can become patient. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). There are really no naturally patient people. When you see God-honoring patience in people, they weren’t born that way. God has worked this fruit in their lives, whether or not they are aware of it. And the same Spirit is at work in you, and will prevail in the end (Philippians 1:6).

Guilt and Grace

Grace is a tough concept for me. I think knowing I'm a sinner - painfully so - occasionally has me wallowing in guilt (my husband would say 'fairly often' is more accurate) . . . . thing is, it's self-induced guilt and not always godly repentance. That's a whole 'nother story and blog entry, but it's a pattern I'm increasingly aware of and working to address. It's kind of like I try to use the 'guilt' of knowing I've 'failed' to motivate me. It doesn't work, and I end up very discouraged. In light of this, I really liked what I read a few weeks ago.

This experience--from guilt to gratitude--has been teaching me something about God. I used to think that guilt prompted us to repent and turn towards God. This may be true at times, but I don't think guilt can sustain a relationship with God, and I don't think it is meant to. Guilt implies that I could have done things differently, that the offense is entirely my fault and I could have controlled the situation in such a way to produce a more effective result. But gratitude... gratitude recognizes my limitations. Recognizes my lack of control. Recognizes that, whether or not I deserve it, I have been given something good.

I don't mean to say that I'm not responsible for the bad choices I've made or the sins I've committed. All I'm trying to say is that if guilt brings me to God, it's gratitude that keeps me there. Gratitude is a response that takes the attention off of me and puts it onto the giver. Guilt reflects the depth of my own depravity, but gratitude reflects the goodness of God. (To read the entire entry, click here.)

Gratitude to put it simply flows from knowing and experiencing God's grace.

What makes us different

I was reading today, and came across this quote in one of the blogs I attempt to follow when I have time. "What separates [those who follow God] from the ones who don't know God is not their circumstances. It is their relationship to the Lord" (Click here if you want to read the whole post). Her point is that we have hope. I am so thankful for this hope that we have, as it is truly what makes all the difference. And that hope is completely, 100% based in my relationship with my heavenly Father - a relationship that is often one way and that by design it would seem. God initiated and he provided and he forgave and he sustains and he frankly does all the work and I do my share of getting in the way to be fair.

Frankly, I'm a basket case often enough. My daughter's chronic disability shows me so many ways in which I'm needy and still floundering to try to do things myself. But this relationship isn't about me; it's about HIM. It's about His grace, His abundance, His love, His sacrifice, His provision, all while I'm NOT interested, distracted, forsaken by men, and overwhelmed by my circumstances.

It all goes back again and again to the ideas in Romans 5. In a nutshell they are this: while I was God's enemy, he chose me and died in my place to restore my broken relationship with him. And he puts us in our current circumstances and will bring us through them to show us it's not about us but about him, and we can count on him. Our hope is not based on our circumstances but in who he is.

Wow. Like I've said so many times before, his grace amazes me - just blows me away. And like my blogger friend said in so many words, HE is the one who makes the difference in our lives. That relationship, and that hope which will not disappoint, is what draws folks to him.

Pursuit

I have kept for some time the bulletin/flyer from a conference at our church last fall at which D.A. Carson was the main speaker. Inside this bulletin are several quotes (excerpts) from his book Worship by the Book. I will share them below, but I wish first to liken them and their content to that of grace, and faith. These are things which one cannot pursue per se, for in the very pursuing of them, that is directly, they are very elusive - they are things which one desires, but they are the fruit of something else; the correlation is indirect. Of course this doesn't mean you don't try to a certain degree; and certainly we pray for grace, faith, etc. But you can't really "make" these things happen by pursuing them the way you can many other things. For example, if you want to have good friends, you first learn to be a good friend. The having comes from the being. Grace comes through faith and is not earned but given. Faith is received often through trials and depending on God more than it is by any direct action on our part. So without any further ado . . . . here are Carson's words on worship.

Worship is the proper response of all moral, sentient beings to God, ascribing all honor and worth to their CreatorGod precisely because He is worthy, delightfully so.

What ought to make worship delightful to us is not, in the first instance, its novelty or its aesthetic beauty, but its object: God himself is delightfully wonderful, and we learn to delight in him.

Although there are things that can be done to enhance corporate worship, there is a profound sense in which excellent worship cannot be attained merely by pursuing excellent worship. In the same way that, according to Jesus, you cannot find yourself until you lose yourself, so also you cannot find excellent corporate worship until you stop trying to find excellent corporate worship and pursue God himself.

If you wish to deepen the worship of the people of God, above all deepen their grasp of his ineffable majesty in his person and in all his works.

Good reminder

I recently read an article online entitled Trust God, Extend Dignity. It was a good reminder of how important it is for me to entrust God with my children as they grow up. The author's focus is on teens, but it seems relevant for many relationships, and even for younger children to a degree.

I think the bottom line is remembering, as I alluded to in my post of reflections on Eph. 3, that God is trustworthy. As the author of this article said, I need to trust God "...and thus not giv[e] way to fears that will tempt [me] to err." If God is who He says He is, then my kids and my life are not really mine at all. He has promised to bring all that He has begun to completion (Phil 1:6) and He can redeem even the worst of mistakes, not to mention forgive even the most deliberate and intentional sins. How can I not trust that? Because my faith is lacking. My fears, though not founded in scripture and what I know to be true, are so very real to me. I am desperately in need of His grace in my life to live by faith, to know his deep and unfathomable love for me, personally.

The author states it like this in conclusion. "Though we never depart from the revealed truths of the Bible, and never tire of offering that truth to our youths, we must allow our teens grace and space to thrash their way through to faith by God’s enabling grace as we also hang on tight to our Father’s hand and trust in Him." Amen.

Here I am Lord, hanging on by a thread at times, and very distracted, but hanging nonetheless. Please don't let go!

Paul's Prayer in Ephesians 3

Our pastor read and prayed this passage in closing on Sunday.

Ephesians 3:14-21

For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

I was very moved by it. Amazing to think how many times I've read it and not seen or understood it, at least not like I saw it and understood it a few days ago.

...that He would grant you,
It's a gift. How oft this idea of a "gift" - not sought and yet received - not earned but freely given - is repeated throughout the Bible. And Paul is praying this for those of us who believe. He's praying it for me.

(Now what is Paul praying that I'd be granted? Keep reading...)

...according to the riches of His glory,
God is rich beyond all comprehension, and His glory is infinite - pretty deep source for the aforementioned gift.

(And this thing that I'm hoping to be granted, according to this amazing extent is...?)

...to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man;
Power through His Spirit - that's a lot of power, and in the inner man is where I need it most for sure.

(Ah, so Paul is praying that I'd be strengthened - but not just any strength, that which comes w/God's power, which is infinite, and which will meet my deepest need, and is through His Spirit. Pretty radical!)

... so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;
This would be the why . . . . . but note it also gets back to the inner man (heart) and gift (faith) ideas. Lots of cool repetition. I like repetition. I need repetition!

Christ dwelling in my heart is a good thing. Yes, please pray for this - by faith, through the holy spirit, and definitely richly for God's glory.

(But wait, there's more!)

... and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
I love gardening analogies. Rooted, grounded, very concrete words applying to abstract ideas like love. My kind of thinking! (I can begin to understand it). With my roots firmly set - grounded in the work that Christ is doing in my inner man, the love that he has shown me and in which all he does in and through me is founded...

(Ok so now we're praying for another thing. First for strength, and now something else. Keep on reading to know what...)

...may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge,
Ah, So that I may know Christ's love, in all its splendor - its breadth, length, height, depth - all its dimensions - that is knows no bounds, that it cannot be understood, examined, etc. It surpasses knowledge, but is known in the heart. This touches on other aspects of this passage again, like the riches of His glory, like His power - all infinite and beyond what we can expect or even comprehend.

(Ok so his prayer is for strength and comprehension... keep explaining...)

...that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
That's pretty complete. Filled to the fullness. Hmm. Interesting to consider. How can I be filled as full as one who is infinite? Beyond me to fathom that, as the following words emphasize.

...Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,...
Again, we think of His riches, the source of all he gives us, and are amazed to consider that we who are so undeserved could possibly be the recipient of this... We can't even fathom it. Wow.

So Paul is praying here that we would know Christ's love and that we would be strengthened in the inner man. Oh boy is this a good prayer. Wonderful for me in the daily grind. Wonderful for my friend who just lost her mom. Wonderful for my friends fighting cancer, for my friends saying goodbye for the first time to their college students, for my friends whose children have just "left the nest" whether by way of graduating and moving out on their own, or by getting married, and so on (there seem to be a lot of these this summer), for my friends whose son was just deployed to Afghanistan, for my friends struggling with difficult decisions, discipline issues or relational tensions.

Father may I know your grace and not doubt its sufficiency. May my time in your word show me your love and may you indeed strengthen me in the inner man. May my roots be growing ever deeper and may I know that I cannot know and comprehend you, but may I trust you knowing that you are who you are.

The Mundane

Ordinary things have a way of showing us our sin. In our family, Papa Bear and I do pretty well with the "big things." We're totally out of our element in that, we know it, and we immediately turn to our heavenly father, knowing He's got what we don't. We know our need! Granted we've got a lot to learn in all areas, even the "bigger thing," but the point is, it's in the smaller, every day, ordinary mundane stuff that we feel sufficient. I mean, laundry. Really. Is that God's business? Do I really need his help to make my bed? Butter my bread? Open the closet door? Flush? Load the kids in the car? (Ok, maybe on that one...) See my point?

Well, this new TV adventure has been pretty typical in this respect. It's "just a TV" - does God really care where we put it? Or whether we keep the train table? Or put in on this table or that stand or dust behind the shelves we moved to make room for it? (again, etc, you get my point). And why is it so "hard" to talk to my beloved about my not liking it here, or preferring the love seat there, or wishing the dust would just settle for a day before we make more changes? And so on.

Rewind to 16 years ago when we got married. We knew then we had a lot to learn to communicate well. Fast forward a couple years - our patterns were entrenched and we knew now from experience we both like to avoid conflict. We are pretty "agreeable" people - surely we can figure these things out - I'll just do it his way (most of the time). But what to do when you really don't like something? That's when the sin comes out. For both of us. One or the other of us will bottle it up rather than say something. Then, often in regard to something unrelated, one or the other of us will make a comment, or even get upset. Worse, we'll generalize and say "you always..." or "I never..."  And it's the little things where it happens the most.  The mundane, unimportant things. When we feel sufficient but honestly we're not. We're just as needy if not more so when we're talking about where to put the TV or what to have for dinner or whose going to deal with the kid that just got out of bed, again.