Thankfulness

I think I see a need in myself to deliberately choose to be thankful. The Bible has much to say on the subject (see this compilation of verses I found online, including ones that appear to have nothing to with thankfulness!).

One that has always struck me is Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

I think I sometimes confuse my being thankful with things going well - that is, that thankfulness is based somehow on my circumstances. When I reflect on this verse, and others like it, I find that thankfulness is something I'm to do - and be - regardless of my circumstances. It's a choice. And interestingly, the ability to be thankful in all circumstances is rooted in what I believe about God. Is He good? Is He trustworthy? Am I really "confident .... that He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus?" (Philippians 1:6) Do I trust Him? Is He sovereign, that is, is He really in control of my circumstances, and all that happens in this world?

I began this post months ago (end of March) and in the midst of seemingly endless low-grade illness across the entire family.  As I get back to it now, in the midst of a hundred and one activities (baseball, school ending, summer decisions, even fall decisions, yardwork and getting the garden in - and yes, more illness), it resonates just as much.  I think that's because it really is pertinent to my every day.  What do I believe?  And the answer to that determines my attitude and perspective on who I am and about every thing I do.

I do believe that God is good and that all that happens and all that I'm involved in has purpose - to glorify him.  Even as he molds and makes me into his image, it's for his glory.  Even when I fail, it's to his glory (it shows who he is in contrast to who I am - and boy does he look good!).  When he picks me up and dusts me off, he is glorified.  Amazing isn't it?  And boy do I need him (I fall so much!).   It's about the grace of a loving Father for His cherished child.  I like being cherished, and I like that He's working in me and won't give up.  Thankful I am indeed.  Now back to all those to-dos....   :-)

Preserving a Husband (A quote - not mine - but I loved it)

Preserving a Husband
Author Unknown

First, use care in selection. Not too young, but tender and with potential for growth. Choose one that will last a lifetime. Like fine wine, he should improve with age. Do not put in hot water. This will remove the sweetness and destroys the natural flavor.

Prepare as follows:

• Saturate with love and compassion.
• Sprinkle with a generous amount of laughter and good humor.
• Spice with patience.
• Wrap well in a mantle of charity.

Preserve over a good fire of steady devotion.
Serve with peaches and cream.

The poorest varieties may be improved by this process and kept indefinitely in any climate.

The "right" question

I was just watching something that made me think I'm asking the "wrong" question. Frankly, it's not so much about the "right" or "wrong"-ness of the question, but what it shows about my thinking in general when it comes to God.

The "wrong" question is "How can I be more Christ-like?" We want to be like him. Being like him is indeed a good thing. But that's not the point. What I realized (and what is "wrong") is that it focuses on me - it's self-centered - and it also presumes I have any ability to make it happen. The point is I want to be Christ-like. I can think of a thousand reasons why, and I can see how unChristlike those reasons are! God does not ask us to be Christlike. That is NOT to be our focus, nor can we do it of our own accord. That is why it is the "wrong" question.

He made me and He has indeed set a standard of behavior, etc. But He is the one who works in me to enable me to meet that standard. And when I don't, He redeems my mess, each and every time. I am not to wallow in my failure - I'm to "wallow" in His grace. My focus is to be on HIM, not on me: on HIS grace and goodness and perfection and love and mercy and power, not on my efforts, my behavior, my successes or failures or anything else.

So rather than ask how I can be more like Him, let me rather ask how I can honor and glorify and thank Him for who He is and what He's done. Let me ask that question first, and let all others pale in comparison to knowing and loving and focusing on Him.

A Surprising Lesson

I have spent countless hours teaching my kids to do things themselves: eat, use the bathroom, wash hands, zip coats, put away toys…. As moms, that’s what we do. But even while they learn age-appropriate independence, I want them to recognize when they need help, and how and whom to ask for it. Frankly, I’m teaching them to recognize they’re still dependent.

There’s been a new and surprising lesson for me in this. From the moment I became a mom, I found myself unexpectedly needy. I’m learning that I too live a life of dependence. My needs may be physical: a ride, lifting something, or juggling responsibilities. They might be emotional: encouragement, wisdom, affection, or perspective. I too am learning when, how, and whom to ask for help. This reflects how God made us, created for relationship with Him and others. But because of my sin – my willful disobedience – I refuse the very help I need, much as my children pull away when they need me most. This creates a relational barrier because God is holy and my disobedience has consequences. Yet God is kind and patient, and loves His children. With grace and mercy, He calls me back and restores our relationship. Through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross – the ultimate consequence of my sin – He’s forever paved the way for me to return to His open arms. Learning to go to Him needy and empty-handed is humbling. But it’s by God’s design, and it’s good.

Our children are born dependent on us. Even while they learn appropriate independence, I’m ultimately teaching them to transfer their dependence from me to God. As they learn to trust and depend on me, they learn to do the same with Him. And this is equally true for me. As I learn to let go of my kids, I’m learning to trust Him to take care of us.

Note: I wrote this for the November 2011 newsletter at our church's monthly mom's ministry.

An appetite which has been whet...

I recently read the foreword to the book Peacemaking Woman. I hope to someday read the book. In the meantime, this comment has truly whet my appetite for more.

I am personally delighted with the greatest strength of this book -- it is consistently Christ-centered. Instead of calling women to work harder in their own strength, it calls them to rest more fully and confidently in the redeeming work of Christ.

A little further on in the book ( not in the foreword), I also read a quote from another book, Boundaries (a good book in its own right, from p.94). This time the quote was interesting especially to share it w/my kids. I look forward to reading (someday) how this quote fits into the book.

Things can hurt and not harm us. In fact, they can even for good for us. And things that feel good can be very harmful to us.

Motherhood

This evening, I read an article a friend shared on facebook. It is entitled "Idealized Domesticity." I took away from it a sense that we try to encourage ourselves by talking up the worth of our being at home. It is true that it is worthy. It is true that it is hard work. But honestly, I love that hard work and sacrifice are normal. What I do isn't "exceptional" - it's life. What else would I do, honestly? Even were I employed outside the home, I wouldn't be looking for kudos because I left work early to go home to care for a sick child. I think we sometimes think that as we do that which we are called to do, that which is normal, we think we're earning points with God for our service. I think this article, without doing so directly, knocks the wind completely out of those sails. It's all about grace. We do and offer nothing. God gives us everything. He gives us the good, the bad, and the mundane (and the ugly). And then he uses it all to glorify himself and shower us with love and grace. It's pretty cool, and it's pretty creative. And I am thankful to be a part of it. And it is hard. And I do try to talk myself into that which I need to do, sometimes probably in wrong ways. So it's good to be reminded in articles like this about carts and horses and which is first, and why we do what we do. It's all by grace and there's much yet to discover.

Law and Grace

On Monday morning, I was driving with Andante, when I was faced with a very real temptation to disobey the law. In fact, I was chafing to do so. Badly.

You see, there is a stretch of road very close to our home where the rules of the road are a bit ambiguous, but there are still some obvious ones. I will try to paint the picture for you. We walk this route to and from school every day. We drive it as often. We see all sorts of law-breaking all the time, as well as some law-stretching. Basically, there is a light involved, some train tracks, a "wide" but not-quite-yet-two-lane stretch prior to the tracks, and two lanes, complete with lines and directional arrows on the other side of the tracks as you approach the light. It's a busy stretch with plenty of traffic, especially on a Monday morning. Throw in an intersection just before the tracks, a crossing guard for that location, a couple of driveways, and you have the picture.

So here I am, running later than planned (although not technically late because there's no appointment), and I'm in the left side of the widish road prior to the tracks, trying to not block the intersection, and very impatient people behind me. Add to that relatively steady but not constant oncoming traffic in a single and not particularly wide lane, a double yellow line, and a wide open "left-turn only" lane in front of me. But to get there, I'd have to go about a foot over the double yellow.....

Here is the temptation.
I want to go.
I can't without going over the double yellow.
It's clear that I'm going to miss this "round" of it being our turn at the light.
The guy right behind me full out went around me IN THE ONCOMING LANE, furious with me.
Obstructing the lane - or playing chicken - to keep others from passing is generally to be discouraged (and it might have appeared I was doing that).
I am late.
It is unlikely I would be caught.

I know this is the law, despite most folks ignoring it, because once several years ago when I did it I got pulled over and given a talking to. The cop made a point of noting what I did in his computer, along with my license, which means if I do it again and get caught, it's a definite infraction, points, fines, etc. That was several years ago, but that cop meant business. I really am not convinced at that occasion that I was even over the line - I thought I was just passing and still on my side of the double yellow, and not in the other lane at all, and he was reprimanding me for passing, period, when there weren't two lanes.

So the fact is, this time, I knew that I'd be over the line. Period. No matter how you look at it.

And my son was watching. He was in the car when I got pulled over the other time, and we discuss this stuff all the time when we're walking. He knew, as did I, that to not wait, to pass, was disobeying the law. And he could tell I did NOT want to obey the law and was chafing.

It made me think of Romans 7 where it discusses that the law can actually produce sin - for if it were not for the law, we would not know we were sinning, but once the law was given, we began to sin even more.....

Ouch. And boy did I want to go! It was a real struggle!

We talked about it.
We discussed that God is watching.
We discussed that obeying the law is important, even when we don't want to.
We discussed that disobeying is sin. Period.
We discussed that obeying the law can actually put us in danger!
He looked me in the eyes, at my request, and encouraged me to do what was right.
Several times!
I needed it.

I'm thankful for these examples of God working in my life to show me my sin, and also to show me how his grace works. He showed me (and Andante) that I did sin, even though I technically obeyed the law. I WANTED to disobey, and only the fact that my son was with me and the "fear" of getting caught held me back. In my heart, I crossed that line, and I was not particularly repentant for my struggle. I could have justified my disobedience in a heartbeat. Hardly repentant. And we discussed that. It was a very good discussion.

What a gift to have been able to live that moment together, to model for him what temptation can look like, how hard it can be to obey, to be so foolish as to think that we might "get away with it" - as though God doesn't see. And God cannot be mocked. That adults struggle too. That it is easy to justify a heart that doesn't even want to obey.

I have taken this up with the Lord, so please don't worry about me not being right w/him. What I wanted to share was how thankful I am for this opportunity with my son, to live the real, hard life before him, imperfectly, and to know it is good. This too is grace. As is the law, that makes us know our sin, and our need for Him - our need that cannot be filled anywhere else by anyone else. Only the blood of Jesus is sufficient to pay the price for this sinridden and disobedient heart of mine- and because of him, it is indeed clean - amazing grace indeed. May I continue to see the sin that is so pervasive and grieve my unrepentance quickly, and find his grace so refreshing when he works in my heart to see, to confess and to seek him.